1.Changing Pad: “But the covers are so cute. It’s the clean and sterile thing to do!” you object. You are going to change your baby on the floor, on the couch, on your bed, and in the back seat of your car. Odds are you will not remember to grab a towel in any of those scenarios; much less race upstairs to the nursery to use the changing pad.

2.Swing or Bouncer: Let me clarify- your child will be a swinger OR a bouncer; very few children are swingers and bouncers. Seriously, wait until your child is here and then see which they prefer to be in. Also, when you do get a swing or bouncer do not invest in a $150 contraption. Your baby does not care about it having 10 different settings and a jetpack.

3.Diaper Bag: Depending on your situation, your partner is going to be taking care of your child at least some of the time. Your partner does not want to use your pink waterproof Michael Kohrs diaper bag; they want to use a backpack. If you are super into Winnie the Pooh and require an insulated bag to prove it then that’s great! Otherwise, just get yourself a couple bags you would like even if you weren’t exhausted and covered in spit-up. Make sure it has pockets that can fit a double bottle cooler, fold up changing pad, 5 diapers and a pack of wipes and you are good to go.

4.Doorway Jumper: Doorway jumpers look cute and fun but in all honesty unless you are going to get your child a helmet they do more harm than good both to your child’s noggin and to your frazzled nerves. The little saucer play-gyms are much better (and safer) for jumping and carry little to no risk of concussion.

5.Pacifier Sterilizer: By month number two you will have ingested more germs from sticking that pacifier in your mouth and handing it right back to your baby than you ever have in your life; and that is OKAY!