I don’t know about you but the shower is the only time I have during the day to really think to myself without many distractions. It’s taken years but I’ve finally trained my kids to not bother me in the shower … most of the time.
Next time you have some alone time in the shower, think about these baffling, insightful thoughts:
1. Heat, Pressure, and Time. The three things that make a diamond, are also the three things that make a waffle.
2. A hoax about a Mewtwo next to my business will be more powerful that any other kind of ad.
3. If you’re attractive with a smile, you’re cute. If you’re attractive without a smile, you’re hot.
4. When I clean a mirror I am always comforted to see that my reflection is doing the other half of the job.
5. I realized I was an adult when I stopped asking if the party was BYOB and started asking if I should bring a side dish.
6. Every dog can be a guide dog if you don’t care where you’re going.
7. Overheating a laptop will make it freeze.
8. Amazon Prime Day is on the 12th, when 11 and 13 are actual prime numbers.
9. If you turn the hourglass sideways, the time stops and it looks like an infinity sign.
10. People who say “I’d pay a lot of money to see…” probably wouldn’t bother paying any money if that thing actually happened.
11. Mom always told me when I got older I would realize I didn’t need to drink alcohol to have fun. Now that I am older I realize you don’t need to have fun to drink alcohol.
12. Everyone I know probably knows my face better than I do myself.
13. The sun reflects its light off of the moon at night. How are vampires able to walk in moonlight without dying if it’s basically just diluted sunlight?
14. If you pay for something entirely with pocket change, it kinda feels like it was free.
15. Clapping is just hitting yourself because you like something.
16. An insect that kills a person is literally slaying a giant.
17. Wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would just be proud of me.